Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Swine flu is the new snow day.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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