This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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