so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
