Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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