So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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