Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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