ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
