standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
