did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
