I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
