Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
