i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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