No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
