despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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