R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
