Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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