Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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