i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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