I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
