I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
