i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
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did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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