i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
