I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
