Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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