did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
