She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
