I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
