I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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