i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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