I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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