thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
