he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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