I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
