it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
