Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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