I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
My boob is missing a layer of skin
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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