how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
