she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
