but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
this boner is exhausting
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
