everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Randomize
