Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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