...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
As shirtless as possible
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
