i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
