it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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