HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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