THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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