I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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