Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
