they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I deserve this hangover.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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