Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
