my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
