So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
