her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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