dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
