i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
