I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
