Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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