I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
