doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
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martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
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I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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