Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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