woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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