...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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