She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
