For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
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I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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